Mother's Day
Yeah, it's a commercialized holiday, but it started for another reason. Mother's Day was originally an activist statement about Peace and Non-Violence. Then Hallmark moved in.
My salute to all the "Mothers" we have today in our family! Amazing, our ranks are growing exponentially.
So, what would you really say to your mother today? Let loose, let's make this interesting!
I hope I am doing this right - my first post. Bonnie touched me with her Mother's Day post. There are things I wish I had told my mother when that was possible. In some subtle way my mother, Flora, - your grandmother, great-grandmother - let me know that I could do anything, achieve anything I wanted in this world. I regret that I sometimes looked down on her while growing up because she devoted herself entirely to me and my father and I always believed there were better, more important things to do. But she made me her "star" and only now do I recognize what that has meant in my life. Later, I discovered that my mother had graduated from high school at 15. She skipped 2 grades and though the brightest in the family of five, only the 2 boys had any hopes of attending college. She lost her mother at age 9 - to the great flu epidemic of 1918 - a clue as to why she valued her mothering so much -and how I now, belatedly, recognize and appreciate how that has shaped the woman I am now. To most of you she was just a sweet old lady and I wanted you to know her as much more than that.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things that my mother does that I appreciate all the more now that I am a mother, too. Only one of those wonderful things is our "family dinners" tradition. Through everyone's thick and thin times, Momma has kept us all together with our weekly or, now, bi-monthly, dinners. She always prepares a feast, fit for 10-15 hungry people and usually caps it off with some innovative, delicious dessert. I have hosted a couple of our gatherings and it is not so easy. The planning, the shopping, the cooking, the serving, the cleaning.... she handles it all every time and it keeps us all connected with each other in a way that we most assuredly couldn't be without this ritual. She does it with a smile, always trying something new, accomodating the vegetarians, the new babies, and anyone that any one of us brings along. This is just one of the incredible things that my mother does for our family. I have always thought the world of my mom.... it's just as I get older and continue to do this 'mom-thing' myself that I realize how really impressed I am. Thank you for all you do, Momma.
ReplyDeleteThank you Claire for your kind words. I got the "family dinner" thing from my mom who used our Sunday family meals as a way to try out any number of weird things on us--anything from tongue to beef brains--and get us all to the table at the same time. The routine had a lasting influence on me. Mothering does require great effort and consistency--but also inspiration--and I was very much in the presence of all that growing up.
ReplyDeleteI just read what Mom wrote on the blog and I'm warmed to the heart. I've always felt so close to Grandma Flora even though she passed on years ago. I think of her often these days because on weekends I clean the apartment she and Grandpa used to live in above Mom's living quarters.
ReplyDeleteThe kind of love our mothers have for us is the solution to the world's
problems: unconditional love. No matter what condition I've been in, my mother has always persisted in her nurturing and support. When everyone in one's life falls away, the kindness of my mother endures. How can I ever repay my mother's kindness for giving me this life and caring for me when I was tiny and vulnerable and helpless as a child? If we consider reincarnation as a possibility, then, as my teachers tell me, I have had millions of past lives in every kind of
body: animal, insect, fish, human being, etc. And so I have had millions of mothers too. The deduction is then that every being we meet has been our mother at some time in a past existence, and we should try to remember their past kindness to us, and try to repay that kindness. So if we think of the buzzing mosquitoes as having once been our mothers, we would not smash our mother to death with a flyswatter!
We mothers seem to be able to generate unconditional love and compassion instinctively. But all of us, men, women, boys and girls, are capable of generating this unqualified desire for others' happiness, and this empathy for others'
suffering. Mothers, in fact, are additionally challenged in that we are highly subject to attachment in this unconditional love. It's very easy for us to be exclusive with our love, loving only our immediate and extended family, and shutting out the rest of the world. When we, males and females, can learn to extend the boundaries of that precious energy to every living being that has a consciousness--what the Buddhists call "sentient beings"--who has been my mother at one time, hope and joy and healing can only increase on this tortured planet.
Here's a little bit of Dharma called "The Exchange of Self and Other":
My mothers, all these pitiful beings,
Have looked after me so often with kindness, So by these thoughts, just like a loving mother for her suffering son, Please bless me to develop natural compassion.
No difference exists between myself and all others.
No one desires the slightest suffering,
And no one is content with the happiness [s]he has.
Please bless me to grow in the happinesss of giving joy to others.
From this chronic disease of self-cherishing Comes all of the undesired suffering: so by this perception Of the blameworthy cause, may I bear a strong grudge.
Please bless me to destroy the demon of self-holding.
By realizing that cherishing all other motherly beings Is the only gateway for achieving all the good qualities Even if they arise against me as enemies, Please bless me to hold them dearer than my life.
In short, immature people seek only self-gain, While the Buddha's work benefits only others, So by seeing with discriminating thought the disadvantages of the one and the virtues of the other, Please bless me to exchange self [cherishing] for [cherishing] others.
To cherish oneself brings only downfall.
And to hold dear all our mothers is the basis of all that is good; Therefore, by the practice of exchanging self [cherishing] for [cherishing] others, Please bless me to be able to do all of this.
Thus the precious kind guru [has said],
May all motherly beings' seeds of non-virtue, Obstruction and suffering ripen on me now, And by giving away all my happiness and virtues, Please bless me to give joy to all sentient beings.
So, Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers reading this, especially to Nathie Bumpo on her first Mother's Day!
peace,
ant mickey
Okay... I tried to post this on Mother's Day, long before all the long and thoughtful posts from Grandma, Claire, Mickey, and Mom. I guess it seems pretty silly now, and I could try to add to it - mentioning the million and seven unselfish and loving things mom has done for us, but I can't right now - too many people running into my office needing to talk to me about work (ugh!). But, at least I have the chance to post what I wrote yesterday (and already sent via email). Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mothers in the family!
ReplyDeleteI love you Momma!!! Happy Mother's Day! Wish I was in Topanga to make you breakfast in bed and water the roses. You're the best!!! Miss you tons and tons.
Lots of love,
your favorite daughter : )
P.S. What on earth are you doing up at 4 a.m.???